"ring in a birthday" a Felt.Buzz500 tale (freewrite+)

This is something new I am trying - to write at least 500 words a day. I call it the Felt.Buzz 500. I write a five-minute freewrite and then add more words to get to the magic number (500 obviously!)...

Prompt: “ring in a birthday”

"Happy Birthday!" Jeff shouted running into the bedroom and leaping onto the bed. Karen opened one eye and then another.

"Go away," she muttered and closed her viewing orbits in the same order they had opened.

"Oh, don't be such a grump!" Jeff said. "Look, I've brought you tea and breakfast."

Karen opened one eye again.

"I don't see it. All I see is an overgrown baby man lying on top of a woman desperate for some more sleep."

"Well, I say brought... I've made you tea and breakfast, my darling. They are downstairs on the kitchen table waiting for me to bring them to you."

"Well bugger off and get them then. And don't hurry back."

"I've got you this little present!"

Karen opened her eye again. Jeff waved a tiny box at her.

"That better not be a ring."

"A ring in your birthday!" Jeff sung loudly and cheerfully, "A ring for you, my love!"

"We are splitting up, Jeff." Karen said, closing her eye once more. "Not getting engaged, married or anything. Now get lost."

“You really are a grumpy birthday girl, aren’t you!” He put the ring on the bed side table and hopped off the bed. “Never mind! I’ll come back in a little while with your breakfast and tea.”

“Don’t bother,” Karen said, pulling the duvet over her head.

“Happy birthday!” Jeff said and marched out of the bedroom. The smile fell to the floor with a crash as soon as he closed the bedroom door. He hadn’t really expected Karen to greet him with a smile and a hug. But he thought she might at least open the ring box. Perhaps she was serious about splitting up! But surely not! The arguement they had had last night was surely just a little spat. A lovers tiff. A bump in Relationship Road.

“You need to grow the fuck up!” Karen had screamed at him. “I want a partner not a fucking son!”

“I’d love a son! Let’s try for a baby! Can we Karen, can we?”

It was at that point she had thrown the glass of wine she had been nursing over his head, told him to get out of her house.

“But it’s three AM, my love! Where would I go?”

“I don’t give a shit. Go back to your mum’s house.”

They had settled on Jeff sleeping on the sofa. Karen had stomped up the stairs and thrown a blanket for Jeff to catch. Jeff threw a smile and a “happy birthday!” back up to her, but she probably hadn’t seen or heard it as the whole house shuddered as the bedroom door slammed shut.

It wasn’t the first time Jeff had spent the night on the sofa. In fact, he had grown to know every spring and lump in it intimately. As he lay there that night he realised he had probably spent more time on the sofa of late than in Karen’s bed.

The ring would change everything.
(Today I wrote… exactly 500 words!)

As usual I wrote the freewrite in five minutes using themostdangerouswritingapp.com and then copied and pasted it into a googledoc, tied it up a bit and then wrote more words!

Screenshot 20191202 at 07.58.00.jpg


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Curious to know why he stays and wants to get married. Give me the answer please and if possible the solution to get rid of Jeff.

I like your idea. 500 is not so hard and a good way to keep the spirit.

Why does he stay, and "the solution to get rid of him" - oh Jeff!
Why do I feel for Jeff vs the bed-ridden girlfriend who clearly doesn't see him as a real (i.e. useful) man?

@carolkean Some men never get the message. I feel for her after being stalked twice by an ex for over 14 years and the need to move each year.

I'm so sorry you suffered the fear of being stalked and the need to move so often!
Mental stress is hard on our physical health - that ex took his toll, body and soul. But you're still here - you rock!! Your wolves, your children, your writing, your strong spirit shine over the darkness of our world. Thank you @wakeupkitty!

@carolkean I thank you for your sweet, encouraging words. It was not the fear of being stalked but the fact of being stalked. Friends being scold at and the police did not care. They literally said they could only act after he killed me. My ex has a great life, could start a new life and is the great person to family, friends, society. Money makes world of difference.
I am the bad guy. I left and let him keep everything. House, furniture, car, savings, etc.

Stories like this leave me shaking my puny fist of rage at the universe.
You are so clearly a good person--yet he shifts blame on you, and it sticks.
Because, money. Because, power. Deceit. How much you've lost, and yet, how great you remain, while he is small and pathetic behind the trappings of success. You are wise and wonderful and that, he couldn't take from you.
Off to watch cat videos

@carolkean Thank you and it is true. I am poor, lost everything except my strong will and proud which means a lot to me. He hoped to dump me in a madhouse or better I died but I decided to disappear. The fact he could find me each time again had to do with his job too.

Enjoy the videos and your day. 💕

If you feel up to the challenge of #31sentencecontest, Week 4 has the prompt "Harassment is never your fault." There are "math cheats" of a sort to help hammer your 31 sentences into the right word count per sentence. @owasco and @tristancarax explain it better than I can in the comment sections for Week 3. I hope you take a stab at it, even if you give up on the word count!

"I've only ever done this exercise as a freewrite, Madness," @tristancarax explains. "Usually what comes first is clustering to get my ideas out on paper and then I use the computer for everything else. For keeping track of the numbers, I've been using a Tarot deck - it's also how I come up with the random numbers. 8-) I enjoy learning how other people put this exercise into practice."

@wakeupkitty here is @owasco's tip (I'm trying to store tips in one place)
Write the sentence order all in one line across a sheet of paper (the long way) and write your sentence lengths under those. Do your whole piece before making any changes. Total word count should be 496. I found this method very helpful. Too bad I didn't try it until the 11th hour, for real the 11th.
BTW, use word counter! It counts the sentences for you if you highlight them.

@carolkean I visited the post I think I once joined something like this on a Dutch site but not as many sentences. I only came to writing the first 15 lines. Thanks for yelling me. 💕

Sounds like a great idea

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Yes, a baby would solve everything for these two :)

I like your challenge idea, @felt.buzz. Here is the next place to try it:


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Jeff is hilarious - or tragi-comic! The ring would change everything - this thought persists in spite of all evidence to the contrary. She wants a partner, not a baby; he responds with an ooh, yes, let's have a baby - somehow I love this guy and wonder what's up with this couple.

@kaelci, this story reminds me of your "wet blanket" girl and fun-loving guy, and I'd go search out their names this minute, but I'm ten thousand posts behind in reading and catching up.