"Do you like my hat" a fiction (a felt.buzz freewrite+)

This is @mariannewest’s prompt

Do You Like My Hat?

Screenshot 20200926 at 15.55.41.png

"Do you like my new hat?" she said and gestured to the top of her head where a thing that looked as though it had been half eaten by a dog and then vomited back up sat.

"Erm," I began hoping she would fill the awkward gap with words to disguise the fact that I hadn't answered.

"I bought it in that new shop," she obliged. "You know the one next to the coffee shop with the buns you like."

That didn't really narrow it down for me. I liked all buns and all the bakers in town were excellent.

"Opposite the Crown."

Ah, now I knew the bakers. Sometimes I would nip over the road, in between pints, and grab a bun to soak up the booze. But I couldn't picture a new shop.

"It's called Hats The Way To Do It," she said. "The new hat shop," she added, just in case for some reason I thought the bakers had renamed itself with a rediculous hat-based pun for no reason in particular. “It has a wide range of hats,” she continued. “Perhaps you’d like one.”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “I don’t really do hats.”

“This one,” she said, fingering the revolting pile of canine puke on the top of her head. “Was made by an artist.”

“Was he drunk?” I asked, the words slipping out of my mouth before my brain could grab hold of them.

“Drunk?” she said, frowning. “No, I don’t think so. Why?” Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you like it?”

“It’s…” I searched for a word that wasn’t disgusting, repulsive or ugly. “... interesting.”
She smiled and nodded.

“That’s what I thought. A talking point.”

“Was it expensive?” I took a sip of beer.

“Oh no,” she said, her smile widening. “I got it for a price! I really bargain. It was only five hundred pounds.”

The beer sprayed from my mouth showering her and her head based monstrosity.

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Hahaha. Very nice story!!
What a shame! Wasting good beer and lots of money!! LoL

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Such a fun read.. It made me laugh 😁😁 i needed just that

Made in Canva

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