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Like so many others, I'm not immune to suffering, sorrow, or loss in any given situation, especially that of a loved one.
In the midst of this unusual year, I've seen and heard countless cases from individuals who've lost love one due to covid-19. This occurrence seems to be expected as more than 263,000 Americans are now deceased.
Since January 1st of this year, my family has experienced the loss of 13 family members. Some left us due to the pandemic; others, natural causes.
It hasn't been two weeks ago yet since our family lost two more close family members. They were my great niece and nephew; young adults whose deaths were not not pandemic related. One was an infant. Such precious lives cut short before they really had a chance to experience life as we know it.
Upon hearing about my loss, @brittandjosie from The Terminal discord left me the inspirational message above. What an awesome gift from a caring friend.
It seems as though our minds are still reeling from those two losses and the constant reminders in the news daily of others being taken away suddenly from their family members.
Then last night on Thursday during our small Thanksgiving holiday celebration, I received a call that another close nephew, my sister's son, who was in his mid thirties, had just passed away an hour before the call.
I was in a bit of a shock at first upon hearing the news. We had just earlier in the day gave thanks for what we had and said prayers for lost family members who were no longer with us this year.
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It took me a while to compose myself. This morning I woke to a severe thunderstorm. It paired well with my state of mind. I'm in the middle of grieving over one recent event when another hit head on. It feels like a deer caught in headlights. You don't which way to turn.
That's when I started thinking on how to deal with the concept of grief and how to get through it.
Grief takes a while to be absorbed. Trying to make sense out of any particular situation takes time. It can be an overwhelming emotion. It's different for everyone and came come in all shapes and sizes. It may be acute pain or a dull sensation. Whatever the form, I know from previous research that there are seven stages of grief:
- shock and/or denial
- pain or guilt
- anger and/or bargaining
- turning upward
- trying to work through it; then followed by,
I'm somewhere in the middle.
I've been trying to rekindle this past couple months my love for writing and moving forward in that direction. For me, I need solitude, quiet, and everything around me to be set on an even keel before I can immerse myself in just a short story. When I was younger, I was a master at multi-tasking. At this stage in my life, I can't function in chaos or distress.
It's truly hard, and sometimes you just have to step back and wonder is this some sort of test or what?
Normally, the day after Thanksgiving is the day we refer to in the U.S. as "Black Friday". It's the official beginning of our shopping for the Christmas holiday. We wake up this morning and start planning.
But today, I got myself a cup of coffee, got online. and logged on to PEAKD. I can't think; I can't plan; I can't even start a draft of my weekly short story writing challenge. So I just started writing here of what happened last night. I look towards my bookshelf. There sits my trusted book, so I reach for it. The bookmarked passage I can quickly locate:
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shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31 (KJV) 1
If you're having a day like mine or anywhere in between today, let me know in the comments below. I'll send up prayer for you, and I'd appreciate you doing the same for me.
Happy rest of the week everyone with whatever your endeavors.
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1King James Bible Online. https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/