In your entire life, there will be lots of changes. Either with your personality, your relationship with other people, and other aspects in our life. At times, some important people in your life will leave. It will change everything, and you can't hardly cope with it in a period of time.
There are certain periods when I have been through with roller coaster of emotions that got me overwhelmed. It affected my emotional and mental health, and there's anger within me that I want to let go of. Will I be blamed? My family is their victim, lost a loved one, and oppression continues. What can you say about that? But those are in the past. As time goes by, you will learn to forgive, and the pain won't exist anymore.
When you were challenged by your emotions, you can't decide properly. That's why they said, do not decide at the peak of your emotion. That's true. If you are emotional at a time, learn to pause for a while. Let your anger cool down, then decide once your brain has overpowered your emotions.
Getting over a loss of loved one might be one of the darkest, and most painful period you will have. What more if the person has to bear with pain before he/she dies? I witnessed how my mother suffered. I think she already feels something on her body but they were bearable, until by November of 2006, she feels something odd on her body. A pain that she even advised me what to do when she dies. She told me that the same day she felt that pain. It's the onset of the evening, and it's just me, my sister, and her. There's brownout, and all we had is a candle. My aunt came in to do ventosa or cupping therapy on her. At first, I don't agree with it because it is my first time to see such, but they pursued.
Things didn't improve on her. Even time came when she was oppressed, along with my family, by relatives. I don't want to talk about that anymore. It all ended, buried the hatchet, and I don't want to dig them anymore. Maybe what happened has contributed to my mother's condition, but we don't know. Her condition has deteriorated. Doctors' misdiagnosis, until they come to realize to undergo CT Scan, after the felt a lymph node on her neck. There, we found out she has cancer.
The remaining two months of her life is like we are riding a roller coaster. There are exciting moments, ups and downs, but in the end, you will be at the lowest point. She came to a phase of shouting when pain escalates. There are moments when she seems improving. There are self-denial regarding her condition.
Her last month is the most tedious. Her health deteriorates. Her memory wanes, and spent her last week in the hospital. The functions on her body is giving up, and passed away on a Friday before evening. Thinking about all that has happened might make one think that our efforts gone to waste. But no! We just have demonstrated that we won't give up on her, and she felt that. She thanked us for taking care of us on her weakest point. She even battled, and never given up. But the will might be strong, yet the body is weak, and it is something out of our control. Still, we both demonstrated our love to each other, and it's something that can't be changed.