Mort the Shit Manager: 'Oppression Supreme'

in hive-170798 •  3 months ago 


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Source: Image by @katharsisdrill

Mort, the Shit Manager is a spin-off fictional series of short stories based loosely on the thoughts of David Mortenson, the tyrannical Kwiksave store manager who features in my auto-biographical series 'The Horrors of Kwiksave'.


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Mort was feeling pensive.

Too many cups of coffee had given him that bloated, wretched kind of feeling and it was all due to the new stock lad.., what was he called, @slobberchops or something.

If that lousy kid tried to kill him by again by deliberately using half a jar of Nescafe per cup, then he would be issued a written warning.

He gazed at the stack of ‘warning letter templates’ in the corner of the office. They had proved to be very useful in the past and had gotten him some startling results.

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Yes, threats and oppression worked.

He understood the practicalities of dictatorship perfectly, despite the refusal of his recent request to ‘Elton Welsby’, the Area Manager that an occasional beating in the back shop may produce more work from these lazy twats.

The previous Stock Lad had stuck it out for 3 months before telling him to ‘Fuck Off’ as well as handing him a black eye and thick lip before walking out.

Being a manager was a tough job and he should be paid more, a lot more.

Mort reclined his luxury padded leather chair, placed his feet on the desk, and peered through the one-way window at the sweating Stock Lad.

Mort was feeling pensive.


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Mort, the Shit Manager is a Serial Shitposting Fiction Story inspired by Torundel the Shitposter by @katharsisdrill, Ren du Lot, the Shit Lawyer by @vcelier and Nordlute, the Shit Sysadmin by @steevc.

Rules are:
211 words - Starting with the words "Mort" - First and last sentence are identical.

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A good start!

Thanks, that image does look a little like the real Mort. I don't share this stuff outside of HIVE for fear of it getting back to him somehow. He would know it was about him.

Threats and oppression do work don't they? Until the oppressed rise up! I worry about what is in store for the poor Stock Lad, who might just need some instruction in how to make a cup of coffee.

Great entry. How fun is this?

Lol, I think I can handle this as I have something factual to base it upon. Other times I tried fiction based on imaginary characters, I really struggled with.

If you want to know what really happened to me, then the Horrors are for you.

Now, can you connect it to the other stories?

Erm, probably not. The original story is being much more padded out than before, but what I write here are the innermost thoughts of Mort, while the 'Horrors' are told from my perspective and are mostly fact.

Ahahahaha. That's some fun stuff!

I think I'd go with Daryl the Harley Davidson Mechanic. The first and last line would be "Daryl had just fucked up his last job completely and was looking forward to not fucking up his next.

Why not have a go? It's all a bit of a laugh.. call it self-taught fiction writing. If it's shit, then... well it is a shitpost, if not then all the better!

Pensive is a fine word!!!

Getting into that mind, what else was in there?

It's a nice companion to the Kwik save but I have yet to get to. I'm surprised you use names! That's why I make up daft ones

Ah, but that is a made up name, just not an El Jeffe style one!

Ha, well done then!

Very interesting. I still don't quite understand this whole initiative, but oh well, it is still interesting to read.

I still don't quite understand this whole initiative

It came from @katharsisdrill, it's quite impossible to see what's going on in the mind of an artist of this calibre!

Great addition to the Torundel saga and lovely back-story for Mort!

I'm sure he would not think so, if it was placed in front of him!

Shh. no-one's going to tell him!

Short and concise,shitty manager