Nag Nag Nag vs Simple Rules

in hive-174578 •  2 months ago 

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The husband is visiting and boy do I mind sharing a space with him.

It is selfish I know, and I try to keep calm about it because his kids love him, but... I think I was meant to be single.

I moved to my own home in a different city about 18 months ago.

I set up my home, exactly the way I like it, and I made house rules according to my sanity.

The kids followed accord, no questions asked. Mama's house is Mama's house after all

This made perfect sense to me. I don't visit my parents house, I visit my mom's house. My dad just happens to live there.

Well, now my husband is here and we are clashing

I don't remind him of my rules and try to keep my mouth shut as much as possible. But, it's not hard to tell when one is annoyed with you, and my face often shows my contempt. The kids keep reminding him of stuff and he sure does not like it.

  • Daddy, you have to take your shoes off at the door.
  • Daddy, don't use MY towel. Get your own. (Our towels are individualized and color coded)
  • Daddy, those aren't YOUR oreos, those are mine (I avoid kid fights by dividing the sweets evenly into everyone's own containers).

Today we clashed over (MY) books

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this is what I have in my living room instead of a television. I have another bookshelf on the other side, a dollhouse, an electric piano, and a kid table as well as my couches. That blue thing on the side of the bookshelf is full of my crochet projects. This is the bookshelf looking "messy" after the kids have been pulling books out and rearranging them all day

My husband and son were playing with wind up toy cars. My husband decided to build a car ramp out of books.

Books are for reading.

I whispered at him to please not use the books as ramps, to get the actual ramps the boy has in his closet to use instead.

His response.

Childrens books are toys

I didn't stay calm or find another way.

Maybe if I would have said something about splashing water all over the bathroom, or sitting on a dirty balcony and then sitting on my new couches. Maybe if I would have opened my mouth about the big pile of stuff sitting in my room. Maybe if I would have said something about putting all his dirty clothes in the hamper after I did all the laundry.

Maybe if I didn't have to sweep and clean the floors so often because he eats potato chips while walking around the house... maybe if ... I would have been more civil about this tiny issue...

But I wasn't

MY BOOKS ARE MOST DEFINITELY NOT TOYS, USE THE FUCKING RAMP OR THE HUNDRED CARDBOARD BOXES WE HAVE INSTEAD.

It's not the shelter in place.

We don't fight MORE because we are sheltered in place, we fight the same amount, maybe even less... I guess, I just don't like having to share with someone who thinks so differently than I do.

Though I am still grateful that there was somebody to change all the lightbulbs in the house.

The exchange ended

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With me being called a fucking controlling nag who doesn't let anyone breath and him refusing to play cars with our son cause "your mom sucked all the fun out of it." I readily accepted the consequence, mostly because my books were put back where they belonged.

The guilt crept in soon after.

I am soooooo happy that he is leaving on Thursday.

Shouldn't I feel "bad" that he's leaving?

To all you married folks.

Congratulations. I am not sure how you do it.

PS. I usually don't write about husband stuff cause he sometimes reads my blog (and who likes to read husband complaints?).... Don't know if he knows I moved to HIVE. Don't know if I care.

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It's easy, separate rooms works wonders ....


another quality post!

Thank you! I keep telling him that our next house is gonna have a granny flat or granny cottage for him to live in. He vacillates between how awful an idea that is and how terrible I am for suggesting it - and loving the idea.

For now, separate HOUSEHOLDS is working.

I set up my home, exactly the way I like it, and I made house rules according to my sanity.

Hehe.. My partner and I took YEARS to get on the same page as far as the house goes. We fought to no end in the beginning, but now we have figured out how to compromise.

Well, really it's just me learning how to see her point of view about organization and cleanliness. It must be a man disease. I think I helped her calm down a bit, and she helped me not be disgusting.