HUMOR: While Elon Musk's Sumerian God is sleeping - Germany is sabotaging Tesla

in humor •  3 months ago 


German court orders Tesla to stop felling trees for Gigafactory, and you have no idea how the story goes

Where was that Sumerian god who allegedly keeps all Musk's business in a success bubble while this was going on? Having their holy beauty sleep or something? I think Elon forgot to make sacrificial dance ( because nothing explains to me that crunk groove in China...) to his heavenly patron, because that job in Germany doesn't look so heavenly...

Aw, you don't know that one about Sumerian god and Elon Musk? No shit! Well, the story goes like this, that old carp sold his gills to some sort of a deity, and now whoever tries to fuck with Elon ends up fucked by an actual supreme being. That would be that, short and ugly.

How the hell I know that? Welt, how else to explain some things? In lack of better judgment, use god. Works for anything, why not for this.

It seems that many will do anything to prevent Tesla from building that Gigafactory in Germany. If you don't know yet, the new German Gigafactory should be built on the 92 hectares of land which requires clearing the terrain from the trees.

A problem? It seems that Tesla didn't acquire all the necessary permits to clear the terrain. I think that is a pile of bullshit. Just flipping papers makes no use to anyone.

Now, even when a carmaker promised not only to replant but to replant tree times as more trees that they will cut down - after the initial clearance the court changed their opinion and ordered Tesla to stop. The more ridiculous things follow, they ordered it just three days before work has been completed.

I don't know about you, but WHY would anyone at first approve construction of such a huge factory on a chunk of land covered in trees, then let them do it, and then halt it because of some completely idiotic fabricated reason?

I understand that trees are valuable, but 92 hectares even if they are plastered in trees will not save the world - and let not even compare all that green bullshit with so many areas of Germany ( or any country, why limit it) being covered in asphalt and concrete.

Which brings me to a very interesting puzzle, how many lightnings is de facto necessary to fry 200 hectares of the forest and how many instances of said event is necessary to claim that chunk of a land a liability? Just asking out of curiosity...

And not start about how ecologically unacceptable many things are there, which renders this decision of a court a clear case of sabotage.

I am not calling out a paranoid type of the sabotage scheme that sometimes only exists in a person's mind, let's be frank, Musk brought onto himself a demise to be attributed to whatever happens with or inside of one of his companies, while it is completely idiotic to conclude so because of none of those companies functions solely on his impulse but within the cumulative effort of many people.

So, I am not saying the sabotage because somebody wants to frame Musk, and he is some sort of a celebrity, and we should all be in awe to him - little reality check I couldn't care less about that nasty business, none of that changes my life in any way ( unless he runs me over with that horrendous looking cybertruck, which by the way has zero chance of happening ...) - I am calling it a sabotage because of what it is.

Anybody can see it. We are not that stupid. And it is very interesting, if not tragic, to see how people with interests are willing to give a wrong meaning to a completely purposeless thing.

Germany is doing absolutely everything to sabotage Tesla. Why wouldn't they? The only thing a huge car making industry like that lacks to established world domination in yet another product - EVs - are Tesla's superchargers.

And do you know why the whole drama about the solar and that sun catching roofing Elon Musk wants to put on top of your warm nest full of domestic violence and abusive combustible broken relationships - that you lovingly call home and family?

One way to make anybody develop an allergy to being self-sustained is to make a product so expensive that nobody wants it, no matter how good.

Because once you have that, you no longer need to pay anyone to charge your car or anything. That is the whole saga about it. The long ride in the past, they even called Nikola Tesla crazy out of the same reason. Not comparing these too. Nikola was a genius.

Why would they leave such a huge profit for free, while producers can charge our power consumption. During history, profiting companies mostly under patronage of the government/s, managed to build not only the whole apparatus around that idea but also altered consumers' way of thinking.

Once you are self-sustained, you no longer need to pay to the enslaving system, you no longer depend on the energy providers and you no longer need to take anybody's bullshit.

That is a whole thing about it. And do you have an idea what kind of an energy vacuum we are talking about? The engine that powers that is so fucking big, then once stopped, the whole economy will imminently implode. Make your own calculations. I could be really horrible at math.

Germans don't need the freaking self-driving cars, they just need EV domination over a new market, and the only thing they lack is where to plug in all those new cars. And Tesla is steadily building that network of superchargers, others do not. One look at the supercharger map and you will get my point.

The more they postpone Tesla, which by the way is advancing in the speed of light, the more their own local car-makers have the chance of surviving the new or future demands of the market. It sounds like a bit too much, but it is not total garbage of a conclusion.

The moment Tesla makes that factory every single young and prosperous engineer will want to work for them! If they fail to see the advantage, I am sure that mysterious Sumerian god who is pumping Tesla's stocks to the roof, will make them change their minds...

About the Tesla stocks, I will leave that to the more notorious writers of speculative fiction because aside of some miracle pushing the numbers nothing else can explain abnormal growth. Once agian - success bubble and Sumerian god.

Have you ever asked yourself how about the environmental office doesn't green-light something else, how about an enormous quantity of synthetic preservatives in almost all lasting food products unless their humane activities are related in appreciation towards all other species aside of the humans?

They do not want us to go extinct, correct?

Well no, of course, somebody has to buy, they would be sad if not. Pretty much same kind of sadness like one that the lotus shoemakers can talk about... but when you think what kind of export machinery they have pumping all that synth into the consumer market, it is clear as a day this 92 hectares are just a smokescreen.

It is really hard to understand how one spit of green on the surface of the earth will benefit any of us, while so many others are subject to deforestation and forest fires until you consider something else. People are holding demonstrations because Tesla poses a threat to local wildlife and water supply? Who are you lying to?

Wouldn't it be more reasonable to bring the environment closer to our utility as that is the only way to change the effect of human activities on the grand scale?

Sure, but somebody should fill up the pockets first.

I don't think it will be Elon Musk, because even if a Sumerian god is pumping those Tesla stocks up, what he has been doing to himself, he can easily croak tomorrow from a heart attack.

I seriously doubt he will live long enough to enjoy a bowl of alien brew in his air-tight greenhouse on Mars. Unless of course that Sumerian god somehow possesses a power of resurrection, then I profoundly apologize - not to Elon, or to the deity or to any godlike creature whatsoever- but to all of you because in that case the whole humanity is doomed to "Elon Forever".

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