Unsolicited Advice - The Gift No One Wants But You Keep On Giving

in life •  11 months ago 

Hey-Oh Wise Jess

I come to you but a humble servant, a human who lives to error and can't keep his pants from being oiled repeatedly and forgets to wash behind the ears. People must take a look at me and have one thought this person is entirely incompetent, how could they possibly be going through life the way they are and survive or thrive?

So I clearly need the opinions of every person with a mouth and time to waste so they can tell me all the things I'm doing wrong and how they would do it. I paid for four years of lectures in marketing that were utterly useless. So why would I want to get your free lecture and think I'm going to derive any value from your so-called expertise?

Being force feed

Most times, I try to avoid it. But for the sake of social protocal, I often have to subject myself to listening to the complete beginning, mundane, biased, mistaken, miscalculated misinformed opinions of others. I am by no means a super-genius, but I think it's safe to assume I'm able to figure out things on my own. I'm sure you did too, so why rob people of their right to explore the world.

Unsolicited advice to me is the adult version of telling kids there is no Santa. Like WTF? It wasn't needed, it benefits no one, and you're just a miserable dick!

Image source: - me.me

The motivation is real

Everyone seems to be an expert on everything these days and must have my total best interest at heart with just handing me the essential secrets to better my life and achieve happiness, clearly, that's why they so inspired to spread the good news. I think unsolicited advice-givers fall into some of the following categories:

  • A busybody
  • A drama queen
  • Jealous
  • A know-it-all
  • An energy drainer
  • Bored
  • Unaware of people’s boundaries
  • Sabotager
  • To stupid to realise they are stupid
  • Or you could be seen as a bully.

As you can see you're in the company of some exceptional alumni and I'm sure many of you would love to walk around with this prestigious accolades as you hand our your turds, I mean peals of wisdom.

Image source: - medium.com

Empty vessels make the most noise

I think that with the way human interaction has evolved everyone seems to think they have this intrinsic value in them that thing they push out has some sort of benefit. Just because you can turn your shit into mulch for your garden doesn't mean everything you produce is life-bringing.

I think people should start to say less and think more and the world would have less engagement yes but more meaningful connection. Let's stop talking for talking's sake but talk when we actually have something to say.

Let's connect

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The other day I watched a video mentioning people who needlessly give advice or feign concern. Some narcissistic types do that. While some people are genuine, others are judgemental. "You're too depebdent on your husband." "I'm worried you're not taking the right things for your health." "You shoukd probably..." "What you wanna do is..." How do YOU know what I want to do? lol The holidays are especially stressful times to manage family members who are like that. The same way people who say "I think you should sell before BTC drops any lower" is NOT financial advice, I should remember that people voicing their "advice" is NOT advice. I'm not sure how to deal with them. If I say no and state my needs or boundaries, I fall into the trap of justifying myself, but I can't just pretend and say ok or yeah because then I'm committing to allowing them to further pursur in the future kn why I did not do what I said I would do. I have trouble saying no.

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Yes I agree it’s a tough balancing act I haven’t figured out the best way to handle it either! I mean everyone thinks they’re an expert and I try to not let it get to me, I normally try to keep those conversations short and move on!

I think it’s also part of a bigger issue where “family” get preferential treatment so they get away with that bullshit if it was anyone else you’d cut it off and say good day but with family you sort of tolerate it which is sort of unfair.

If you do ever figure out the best way to deal with it, PLEASE share it with us lol

Haha, yeah, will do. Same goes for you.

I think the tone of voice is a key indicator as to if the person if genuinely concerned or being a busy-body and meddler.

I remember my dad's gf once lecturing me about how I need to sort myself out financially because I'm dependent on my husband and "what if it doesn't work out." I hate it when people think like that. I get that some people want to be prepared, but saying "I love him and we'Ve made vows to each other" isn't good enough for them. While for others, saying the same response, tells them everything they need to know about our values and where we stand and they respect that. Plus I get triggered immensely with what ifs. My abuser did what ifs of all sorts. So these days I'm more assertive and tend to go "Don't What-If me!" lol Like, let's play a different game where you keep quiet! OH! :o Of course I would NEVER say that like that. Maybe I'm not drunk enough to dare.

Well, if you want my advice...

A rule of thumb would be if it’s good you wouldn’t give it away for free

And if you give something away for free, you value your work at nothing right?

Indeed unless you some online guru and then you give me a free thing to sucker me into buying your course or attending your seminar where you eventually charge me for what is rubbish advice lol

Haha true! Look at all this free advice I've given you, now pay me for some more advice that could easily be found out with a tiny bit of research but I've capitalised on your laziness :D

I've known a few know it alls and I don't like interacting with them😒.

Posted using Partiko Android

Me too, a part of my soul dies Everytime I have to deal with one! I’d rather be a know nothing instead let me dumb I’m not hurting anyone

No comment 😂

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You better STFU if you know what’s good for you, lol!

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