Bacon

in life •  9 months ago 

IMG-PHOTO-ART--599927237.jpg

Are you feeling alright?

The Good Lady gave me the kind of look that you give one of your car tyres when it makes a farting noise after a kick.

Who me? I'm fucking amazeballs, why?

I said through a mouthful of bacon.

She sat down across the table from me, still looking at me curiously.

I dunno, something doesn't seem right?

I paused in the shovelling of bacon into my mouth.

Nonsense. Everything is perfect. In fact, everything is hunky dorey.

I mumbled.

Hmm, are you sure?

She tilted her head to the side in that way that ladies do to look compassionate but actually just makes them look like demented meat-eating dinosaur birds.

Yeah, baby-girl. Totally sure. I can almost 100% guarantee that there is nothing untoward going on with me.

To emphasise my point I made swirly motion in the air with my spoon.

The Good Lady's eyes widened as she tracked my spoon looping through the air.

Why on earth are you using a spoon to eat your bacon!?

She asked incredulously.

Oh, the spoon? I like eating bacon with a spoon.

I said with a determined nonchalance as if I was a Spanish waiter avoiding a tourist's eye.

Don't be silly, let me get you a bloody fork.

My spoon clattered down onto the plate out of my suddenly lifeless fingers.

Oh no. Please. No. Please, not another fork?

The Good Lady paused on her way to the kitchen.

Shush, you are getting a fork.

She shook her head at the daftness of men and proceeded out of sight.

I wiped the sudden sweat that had sprung up on my brow and whispered softly to myself.

Not another fork. No. I can't take it...

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Hi ya @meesterboom,

Hehe.....We made it to the other side.

Thank you for the humourous illustrations and story.

Wishing you and your good lady all the best! ^__^

Cheers!

And wishing you and yours all the very best lass, this one was a much smoother ride than a couple of days ago!! Ha hoping we set am improvement to things around here!

Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!

HAha, love it , (although this one went pretty smoothly), I am happy to not to see one again xx

There's one in a few hours!! To fix a big. I have my fingers crossed that all goes well!

And suddenly Steemit was plagued with similar PTSD flashbacks

Like the locusts they come a hopping and a chirping!!

Oh don’t be a wuss 🤣

Maybe you should have made a bacon sandwich to avoid arousing suspicion 🤣

Posted using Partiko iOS

We are in a hardfork sandwich!! :0D

Can't get Stevie Wonders 'you are the sunshine of my life' out of my head but it keeps coming out as 'you are the hardfork of my life'....gonna be a rough day

It might be a great day and a rough tomorrow :0D

Now I've got that song in my head dammit!

You're welcome :D lmao

Raar, haar!!:0P

Just using your fingers would probably have been easier than a spoon.

But it's greasy!? I am a delicate wee soul!! :0D

Ah. See you wouldn't have this problem with vegan bacon. 😁 Actually I'm surprised your wife let you eat the pig stuff. I thought the story was going to end up in a fight or something.

Lol, she is quite open to me eating all sorts. It is partially the reason she tries to get ridiculous healthy things down my neck!

'Don't be silly, let me get you a bloody fork.'

She will never stop, won't she?
Wish you much strength and courage in this difficult period.

One day I hope to be able to blog about things which aren't hardforks!

This morning by whatsapp I wrote a message to @oaldamster ... 'What do you think? Do we get to see 30 before the end of this year'?

Saw him getting online on the phone and reading it, but he waited a bit with replying.
So I added 'Am not talking about beer'

Apparantly he hadn't been on Steemit yet because he replied that it could indeed be possible that we got another hot day with temperatures above 30 degrees. His second guess was the price of Steem getting above 30 (which made him getting closer).

To no longer confuse him I replied ... HF's
And '22 is coming up'

ALREADY!?, he replied, I'm hopelessly behind obviously!

See, if I hadn't logged in and just by chance saw a post I would have been the same!!

Probably worth less chance of getting it near right though :0D

To me it was a kind of Cryptic message at first. Could not be our age. Or I had missed some big scietific discovery that could turn men of ripened age, like us, back to being like 30 something? (Where do I sign up?)

Beer did come to mind, 30 different kinds, until 2020? And the price of Steem, at least to 30 cents, within a week. Because of the recent hard forkening. Apparently I missed out on the last one, number 22...

We'll get to 30, in the year 2020. SMTs are a big hit, but took a whole range of hard forkenings to get them working as they should.

In time even an egg will walk, so we might need to practise a little patience...

I only just saw this for some crazy reason!

In time even an egg will walk! Ah such philosophy! Hehehehehhe.

I was thinking what would come to mind and so much was but I was nowhere near what you were thinking!

The philosophy was by Lao Zhu his younger brother: Nianqin Zhu. It never picked up in Taoism, for some reason though.

The three piglets and a bucket helped predicting SMTs in 2020, perfected at HF30. But I think the farmer is lying about them being the same every time...

Have a great weekend!

Something isn't right, a post from Boomy in the AM? Smoky bacon and mirrors here!

Gotta get it in before the fork!! Look at the arms on my picture. A hurried bastard of a picture that was. Train kept shoogling about as well!!

Smoky bacon madness!!!

The fork is done! Isn't it?

I saw those arms, a bricklayer would be proud!

Popeye too, all that spinach is doing me good!!

I do love some spinach - with eggs and a bit of Hollandfordazee, yum!

I like it in my pasta with a big dod of salmon!!

The new fork? Is it finished, did noone notice it happen? That's impressive!

That 48h binge was good for something eh!?

I love a binge. Beer and spinach, hurrah!!

Did you see the Steemit blog post about the new fork today? It seems quite unnoticed!!

Sneaked that one in, more forks it is!

Sneaked in and done. Not a ripple on the calm waters of Steemit. Hurrah!!

Maybe we should write up a proposal to get funding for counselling?

Haha! Yeah, that might work!!! I am off to bash one out right now!!

Ooer...

I'll totally vote for it! I need help too!

We can get it accepted and just spend the money on booze!!

And bacon!!!!

A marriage made in heaven!!! Have you ever tried that bacon bourbon? I haven't, I can't imagine going that far!

I don't think I'm ready for something like that...

But I will be after counselling!

The councillors better have a big hall to fit us all in!!!

No more forks! Abandoned! Noughizzanough!
In the early days men ate with their hands, nobody needs a forking bleedin fork.

(Hm, glad it is thirstday today.)

I am quite flag myself. 8 think I might break a rule of no beers on a weeknight tonight!!

'Exceptions confirm the rules', is a saying we have over here in NL. That can come in handy sometimes. It gets me replies like: "Well, isn't that convenient!? Bending them as you see fit." And then I repeat the saying again. Then the "Ach, ach, ach", while she shakes her head with disapproval, would come. Home safe...

I can already see someone in the psychiatrists office having PTSD with forks...

"Forks... they are everywhere doctor! I'm telling you, they are alive!"

They are in the bed, in the sky... In the air we breathe!! :0D

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Oh, the dead quiet on here is worse than the fork was...

I threw out all the forks in my house. Anyone who brings one is dead meat. Or bacon.

!tip

Maybe make a new fork out of bacon!

The quiet is quite worrying. I hope that it doesn't get quieter after the 'excitement' of the fork and the flagging

Oh!! The flagging! That is really exciting! ;)

Say it again...

Let's get out and make some noise! Sorry about the no upvote of comments. they have taken mine down to dust. Le sigh. You will have to make due with a tip or two.

!tip

I am sorry too, I used to vote comments like a madman!!! Might have to top up my own tipu!!

Truth! Me too! I never let a comment for by on my post without responding to it and it was my happy to always give at least two small up food because I did not have a lot of voting power to give anybody a nice big vote. Someday. In the meantime, I think I own half of tipu as I put a fair amount of steem into it every week. I kind of like it and it's different.

I will have to check out more of Tipu. I like the sound of it

You go to tipu and put in money SBD or Steem - And you can also delegate to them, which I am thinking more people will be using tipu and I may want to do that. When you want to tip, you just write !tip and if you don't write and amount, it will give the person .10 steem or .10 SBD whichever you put in.

Painless and for me, it is the only way for now. Thanks for the upvote. That is extremely kind.

I did it way back at the start of tipu, definitely a good thing now in this age of no comment voting!

🎁 Hi @meesterboom! You have received 0.1 STEEM tip from @dswigle!

@dswigle wrote lately about: Market Friday - Right This Way! Feel free to follow @dswigle if you like it :)

Sending tips with @tipU - how to guide :)

🎁 Hi @meesterboom! You have received 0.1 STEEM tip from @dswigle!

@dswigle wrote lately about: Tree Tuesday Forks Over The Day Feel free to follow @dswigle if you like it :)

Sending tips with @tipU - how to guide :)

@meesterboom hello dear friend, I admire your way of being, you always see things in a fun way, I think that for some time many of us will not use forks.
I wish you a wonderful night

Cheers @jlufer! It's the only way to live life I think, otherwise it's misery! :0)

You got a 19.24% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @meesterboom!

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