The Bearded Lady

in life •  2 months ago 

IMG-PHOTO-ART--600866798.jpg

Oh, look at me, I'm a lady!!

The Bear-Man sashayed out from behind his counter and ran his hands up and down his sides in a strange and terrifying attempt to look... seductive?

I had just arrived at his beer shop and was soaking wet and not in a good way. Outside, the storm battered at the doors as if it wanted to give me another good hosing.

dbfn__20191g.jpg

What the fuck are you doing?

I asked bemusedly.

The Bear-Man was now moving toward me wiggling his hips as if he was channeling his inner Shakira.

It wasn't the best look for a sixteen stone, bearded man.

He continued to shimmy towards me and I began to feel a mounting sense of horror.

What if... all this time... I had thought that the Bear-Man had wanted to puggle me up the chocolate macaroon but in fact he didn't...

What if he actually wanted me to get out the pork baton and get all Hong Kong cop on him?

dbfn__20191g_20191206172559280.jpg

Oh noes. This was an affront to my sensibilities.

Time slowed to a crawl as thoughts bounced rapid-fire through my head.

The Bear-Man stopped in in front of me, one hand on a hip and the other held to the side like an obscene hairy teapot.

I bit my lip.

I would have to kill him. It would be a kindness really.

I wondered if it would be possible to skin him and attempt to wear him for a week or two whilst trying to transfer ownership of his shop to myself?

Them I remembered he had a wife.

Damn, doing the hoky-poky with a strange lady whilst wearing the bearded skin of her murdered husband might be a hard one to pull off.

I nodded grimly to myself.

Who says life's easy?

I raised an iron hand for the killing blow.

Whatcha think then?

The Bear-Man produced a can as if from nowhere and brandished it at me.

Bearded Lady it announced proudly on the front.

Get it?

TheBear-Man did a little dance again

Oooo, look at me. I'm a lady!

He grinned.

So it was a joky reference to a can of beer?

I lowered the iron hand and took the can from him.

It looks like he gets to live... for now.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

You amuse me, sir, I therefore express my approval with an upvote and a comment. I shall proceed to the tasting post forthwith.

Amusement is my raisin settle raison dert that thing that French folk say!

RoFL! I love Bear Man's antics XD

And also wonder why you're not used to them by now but then again it's much funnier this way XD

Hehe, he is quite the character. It's easy more fun for me to be outraged! :0D

This is how I see them starting... first they start dressing up as a woman as a "joke" then they become them... You better hold on to that iron hand bud, you might need it in the future...

Every man needs an iron hand in his pocket!

Epic image as always, although a little more filter would be required to match what I see on Tinder these days :O

Best put this one in a furry cup?

Moahr filter!! There can't be enough filter!!

A furry cup might end up a fiery cup!!! :0)

That video never gets old!!

and that ... my beer drinking friend ... is why I gave you the 10 hour version of it.

Enjoy

I think it's time you posted as a lady 100% of the time, it suits you well.

Lolz!! I world but I find the taffetas and supplies coaster against my beautiful soft skin!! :0D

This sounds like my entire college experience.

That must have been half awesome half awful!! :0)

Haha , yow tranny ,
I stuck'em in deep shit last night (and night before and night ...) hihi
Tired , need some beers and a conversation on formal level.
Staarek water and good medication.
Hehe grave pics :-))
allauH -akBar first <241 sat ====> BOOM (inside joke)
https://www.tradingview.com/x/kwfzmIlZ/

greetings , cheers and byekes
sincerally,µ
9vWp6aU4y8kwSZ9Gw15LFL3aMdhmgmBBFMpDJregpdP328UPtg5vEMdYkGi8nooe1vQ8im6UcmSekxd8fxE4Ws5wHfLAJKgyod5XcKSpV5VtP3UskFYf6XUkbdBRnBdvdYkBETcAQrauj1MCz.jpg

Lol, it's quite a good head swapping job I think!!

Fortunately I'm still all grizzly in real life!

You can't go wrong with a good beer or seven! :0)

Oh, you are too kind! We need to oft him while we can. There is not enough bleach in this world to take that image of the sashaying bearded lady-man out of my head.

!tip .20

I am so very kind. I wonder if I'm too kind!!

Or was quite the sashaying sight. Like everything Shakira isn't... Lol!!

Oh, my. What a turn on. LOL

Lol, indeed!!! :0D

He made a better joke than some of the Woke comedians I have been recommended lately on youtube. Wish someone would iron hand them across the face.

I can't be doing with that kind of comedy. I like my comedy grimy and shocky!

Definitely. The kind of comedy for people so tough they shoot their teeth clean with a shotgun instead of brush.

That's the stuff. The type that makes old ladies sitting near you tut and reason about leaving and when I say old ladies I mean the men!!

Ha ha, I'd have a go on a good beer called bearded lady... but it sounds like the bear-man had something different in mind!!!!

Yikes!!

Yikes indeed! I will be happy to stick with the beer I think!!!

Weird 🤣

:0)

Is it possible to have some explanation about your downvote? Did my post offend you? There is talk of a school trip does not seem offensive!

Posted using Partiko Android

Not offended. Bidbot usage is fine for promotion but you shouldn't profit from promotion. The EIP, I am sure you heard of it

Yes I know. The main objective of the EIP is to improve content discovery and the incentive mechanism in such a way as to reward truly good content so that page trends tend to organically voted content in which both commitment and quality content improves. In my case I would like to know then where I went wrong in the specific way, to whom I asked what! I think that in life it is necessary to evaluate individual cases in an ethical way through the use of critical thinking! Where is all this profit?

When you pay for votes you make a profit.

You obviously know this?

If you know you tell me what it is, so I understand what or who doesn't pay! Thanks.

If you send money to people to vote on your posts. Ie, buy votes as you did. Then you run the risk of people downvoting your posts to make sure you don't profit from it.

It's quite simple. You bought votes you got downvoted. Nothing personal. Unlike your downvote on my post :0)

the use of the downvote is really pretentious, I find myself often downvote even if simply my remuneration increases without paying anything to anyone. You are not giving me documented demonstrations or testimonies .... I too am sorry but it is only an instrument of supremacy of those who have more power. There's nothing personal for me either, but I don't like superficiality!

Ok. Glad we had this chat

🎁 Hi @meesterboom! You have received 0.2 STEEM tip from @dswigle!

@dswigle wrote lately about: Market Friday Shapes Up The Holidays Feel free to follow @dswigle if you like it :)

Sending tips with @tipU - how to guide.

I would have to kill him. It would be a kindness really.

Funny, I think this several times a day. 😉