It is impossible for all of us to like the same things, or to even like each other, but have you ever met someone and instantly knew that you liked or disliked that person?
Recent studies done by psychologists from Cornell University, states that first impressions usually last. A full study was done, where a group of people is each shown a group of photographs with different faces. The participants each had to choose the photos of the people they disliked by only looking at the faces of the people on the photos.
They were given no additional information about these people and made their decisions only on what they have seen in the photographs. This study concluded that people are judged by their faces and that first impressions usually last.
If you would like to read more about this study, please read more here.
I have met plenty of people that I instantly disliked, and because I am just a human, I have judged them incorrectly. Although I usually have good judgment and usually are correct in my judgment, I am willing to admit that I have made mistakes.
I can usually tell in the first few minutes if I will like a person or not, but one thing that I don't do is to judge them by the way that they look. For me, the way someone looks has absolutely nothing to do with their personality.
Is it possible that we judge too easily?
The saying "don't judge a book by its cover" is much easier said than done. People are often judged by the way they dress, or by the number of tattoos they have on their bodies. People are judged by what is on their outside, and not judged on what is on the inside that really matters.
Overweight people are often not recognized for who they really are, and sometimes overlooked for positions because of the image they portray.
We live in such a sad world, where everyone fights to stay alive and be the best they can be, but they are often judged and damaged by others without people realizing it.
Often we say things to people without thinking and we don't even think of how something as silly as one sentence can make someone else feel. People are damaged because of bullying, and develop psychological problems because things are just too much to handle.
Circumstances also play a role in how someone feels on a particular day.
Imagine you are walking in the woods and you hear a puppy bark. You look for it and find it and it is the cutest little thing that you have ever seen, but...when you try to touch it or pick it up, then the puppy suddenly wants to bite you. You step away to prevent the bite, but then you see that the puppy's leg is trapped.....and almost instantly you feel compassion again.
We must judge ourselves, and judge of our own acts, but not make our word a law to everybody. We must not judge rashly, nor pass judgment upon our brother without any ground. We must not make the worst of people.
Here is a just reproof to those who quarrel with their brethren for small faults, while they allow themselves in greater ones. Some sins are as motes, while others are as beams; some as a gnat, others as a camel. Not that there is any sin little; if it be a mote, or splinter, it is in the eye; if a gnat, it is in the throat; both are painful and dangerous, and we cannot be easy or well till they are got out.
That which charity teaches us to call but a splinter in our brother's eye, true repentance and godly sorrow will teach us to call a beam in our own. It is as strange that a man can be in a sinful, miserable condition, and not be aware of it, as that a man should have a beam in his eye, and not consider it; but the god of this world blinds their minds. Here is a good rule for reprovers; first reform thyself.
Have you ever looked at the cover of a book and decided not to read it? Well so have I.
Now let's ask that very same question in a different way.
Have you ever looked at someone's outside appearance and decided not to talk to them or be friends with them because of the way they look/or the way they are dressed?
Yip, people are judged daily on their outside appearance and many opportunities and possible friendships go to waste because of people judging others.
So how can we stop judging people?
- Don't look at the outside of a person. Be conscious when you talk to a person you had just met.
- Monitor your thoughts, and think before you speak.
- Be friendly and change your mindset. Change the way you think and get to know the person before you decide.
- Focus on yourself and not on the other person.
- Get rid of negative thoughts and find something positive in that person and focus on that.
- Remember that the person you are talking to might feel exactly the same about you.
- Remember how it feels to be judged.
Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are!