We-Write #14: At the Club

in wewrite •  2 months ago 

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Thanks to @Zeldacroft and @freewritehouse for the opportunity to express us.


The club lights flashed and waved to the beating music. They washed the dancefloor in neon colors, in time to the heavy vibrations of the giant speakers. Surprisingly, Toby admired the bright lights, how they illuminated the huge space and modern architecture. Though he found himself nursing a headache at the bar.

Jan from accounting had organized the “bonding time” for the office, saying how it’d bring everyone closer together. Toby had been devoid of any good excuse, so now he was stuck between a beer, clubbers, and Jan, with her volume louder than the pounding speakers.

“And so that’s when I said, ‘Kevin, that’s the wrong variable!’” She snorted in laughter at her own joke. Toby managed a smile. “You see, he made a simple mistake!”

“No, I get it. I think Susan’s around here somewhere, she’d appreciate hearing it too.”

“That’s a good idea, but I can tell her on Monday!”

Toby took another drink. He liked Jan well-enough at work, but tonight was proving a little more difficult.

“That does bring up a good point, though. I haven’t seen many people from the office here." Scanning the room, she asked, "Do you think they're stuck in traffic?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Toby answered, knowing full well it was more a case of empty promises. Still, there was something about the disappointment in her eyes that struck him. “But hey, you got some of us here.”

She gave a small smile and looked around again, this time lingering towards the lights.

“Hey, let’s go dance!”

Before Toby could gently protest, she’d swept him onto the floor, beer and all.


♥♥♥♥♥♥ My continuation ♥♥♥♥♥♥


"I'm sorry Toby, I think I've been exercising a lot lately," she told him with her flushed face, a little nervous as she helped him up.

"Don't worry, there's no problem, maybe I'd better go, I'm dirty and I feel weak" he wiped his shirt with his hand and showed a smile of shame that he could not hide. Toby took off the look on his shirt and looked at Jan's eyes, large honey-colored eyes full of moisture, and she was standing there watching him.

"Shall we dance?" Toby asked as he stretched out his hand.

"Yes, I'd like that very much."

The lights seemed to envelop them in a special world, Toby remembered the time he confessed to him that he felt something romantic about her, and he was rejected for being a good boy, Jan has always had relationships with noxious subjects, she seemed like a magnet to attract them, like rotten meat for vultures.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

Jan went to the bathroom, her bladder couldn't take any more liquid and she had to go almost running, she met Susan in that place, she was laughing a lot in an uncontrolled way, it was noticeable that she had ingested a lot of liquor.

"Look, bitch, I'm not an idiot, you know?" said Susan, pointing her finger at her and talking in confusion.

"Give me a permit, Susan, please."

Susan stood in front of her so as not to let her pass and force her to listen to everything she had to say.

"I know you're dating my boyfriend, you're a big whore, I thought you were my friend."

"You're wrong Susan, calm down we talked about..."

And before the sentence ended, Susan tried to hit her in the face with all her strength, but Jan skillfully dodged him and Susan went against the bathroom wall, hurting her face and finally falling to the floor because of her drunkenness.

Jan lifted it with one hand, placed it on the toilet in the opposite direction, with her head on the tank and left the place.

Jan was visually looking for Toby when Kevin suddenly grabbed her by the hand with a lot of force and made her turn towards him, and kissed her with frenzy.

"I want you Ashley, let's get out of here."

"Wait, Susan knows about us, she just complained to me."

"I'm not interested, I only care about you, sweet candy"

"No Kevin! I don't want to get fired."

"Damn what are you saying, are you breaking up with me?"

"Yeah, she's the boss's daughter, and we've had too much fun."

"If you leave me anyway, they'll know" by grabbing her arm aggressively.

"Let go of me now"

That's when Toby arrives and looks at the two of them arguing as if they were husband and wife, "I suspected it," he said, turned around and left.

"Wait, Toby, wait for me," Jan shouted, watching him move further and further away.

"Oh, I get it all, now you want to have fun with that nobody"

"Shut up, Kevin, you bore me."

"Where you think you're going, you stay with me" taking her by the shoulders and trying to kiss her.

Jan pushed him hard to get him away from her, and surprisingly Kevin's body was shot with a lot of force, braking against the far wall, screams were heard and many ran without knowing what was happening just by survival instinct, Kevin on his way to the wall took a few people to cushion his pain.

Toby turned immediately, saw Jan in the distance, standing, her eyes big, honey-colored, nervous, and he didn't need to come near to know that her eyes were full of moisture; and he extended his hand waiting for her there.

To participate you have the following link:
We-Write #14: At the Club


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Toby turns out to be a good guy after all.
All these stories about what happened in that club are getting confused in my head. But this is a good one!
Thank you for writing with us!

That's a high-impact ending, literally, and Toby extending his hand is a great visual - and speaks volumes about his character. All that drama, all the harsh words and betrayals, and he just steals the show with that final line - love it!